why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
