I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
