Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have aggressive nipples.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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