I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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