if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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