You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
