You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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