It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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