They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
