the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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