so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
