Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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