she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well I just put wine in my tea
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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