Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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