Your face is a jimmy john
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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