you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
