are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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