if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
