You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
