can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
