He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
