Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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