for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
