WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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