We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
