If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
