He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
