I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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