i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
