we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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