I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I could have mohawked her pubes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
