My girlfriend figured out who you are.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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