Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
