Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
