oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
