You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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