I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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