I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
