So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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