Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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