So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
