I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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