In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
