Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
