i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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