is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
