Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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