He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
