What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
this boner is exhausting
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize