OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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