I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
